Once Upon a Frozen Blossom
by Sorii
Summary: Once upon a frozen blossom I fell in love. And once upon a frozen blossom my heart was broken. Post-war, oneshot, slight OOCness. HitsuMatsu


Once upon a frozen blossom I fell in love.

It was nearly a century ago when she died.

Died, vanished. Gone with the wind.

Never spotted for a hundred years.

We never aged. We don't age. We can't.

And so I was forced to live a life in which I was constantly reliving the past.

The one I loved wasn't the most beautiful. She wasn't the strongest, nor was she the most intelligent.

But she was herself.

And that was what mattered.

I loved everything about her—her hair that was always down and always managed to stay tangle-free, her shining, ocean blue irises, her lazy personality. The way she held herself and how her zanpakutou shunned me.

I loved it all.

And I miss her.

Oh, how I miss her. How I long to hold her in my arms again, to breathe in her familiar scent. I miss the warmth that touched my very soul. I miss her.

I see the scene every day when I wake up. Hinamori looks at me worriedly, but I don't care.

My emotions died along with her.

I've taken to drinking sake with the others lately. Kyoraku is over thrilled, but Hinamori isn't. It's ironic how I used to hide _her_ stash and now Hinamori has to hide _my_ stash from _myself_.

I know she's doing it out of her care for me, but god damn it, that sake is the only thing that helps ease the pain.

I think about her death every day. Her murderer too.

Aizen Sousuke.

He's dead now. We all saw him die with our own eyes.

But it still doesn't help. I still lament her.

Everyone calls me pathetic, especially Soi Fon, but I could care less.

Taking another sip of the bitter liquid, I feel it sliding down my throat. The sake's effects are numbed by Hyourinmaru.

Thank god I had an ice-type zanpakutou. He must have known he'd come in handy with his situation someday.

The lights were off and the sun had set hours ago. The only light now filtered in through the openings of the closed blinds.

Leaning back on my chair I swiveled what was left of the alcohol in my cup, staring out the window. The horizontal shadows played across my face, bouncing with the slightest shift of the wind.

It was so silent. Then again, it always was.

I stood up and pulled the blinds away, opening the window. The chilly December breeze drifted in, tickling my nose like a gentle feather, but I paid no heed to it.

Getting up, I walked over to the couch where I slumped onto the plush cushions and lazily threw an arm across the back, just like the way _she_ used to. The wind fluttered the blinds across from me, the darkness fluttering around the room like restless butterflies.

The moon was full tonight. We used to love sitting on the roof and gazing at the stars. There were those days when I drank too much sake and I'd start seeing things—her figure in the moonlight right now, for example.

I blinked. Wait, her figure in the moonlight? No, it must be the sake.

I rubbed my eyes, unbelieving. Yet there she stayed, standing atop the tree in the courtyard, her luscious lengthy hair fluttering behind her. She still had on her trademark pink scarf draped around her neck, along with her lieutenant's badge strapped to her right arm.

I watched still, thinking it was the sake. But none of the glimpses have lasted so long...

Then she leapt down, graceful as a swan. Immediately I ran over to the window and whisked the window open, a strange desperation overcoming me. I arched my body so that my head was leaning out the window, my hands gripping the edges so hard that my knuckles turned white as a sheet. I felt my eyes widen involuntarily and my body begin to shake. Whether with excitement, fear, or anger, I didn't know.

The figure walked up to the window, light steps that didn't even rustle the grass blades. Her eyes were the same soothing shade they always were. The color of the skies on a clear day. The color _her_ eyes used to be when she was happy.

I sucked in a harsh breath. My heart was pounding so furiously I thought it would burst out of my chest.

She came closer still. And closer. And closer...

And then she was right in front of me. It was then I realized it wasn't the sake, but I don't think she was fully real, either. Her entire body had an ethereal opal glow that seemed to shimmer in the moonlight. At last I found the strength to choke out one word.

"Matsumoto?" I asked breathlessly. My voice was hoarse and quiet, broken from all the years. I could feel tears pricking at the corners of my eyes but I forcefully held them back. I hated the helplessness I felt when I was with her.

Her smile grew bigger. She inclined her head forward, so close I could almost feel her hair brush against my cheek. Was she going to kiss me? My face flushed at the thought, but she didn't seem to notice.

But she didn't. She whispered something in my ear that made my heart skip a beat. As she leaned back, she gave me a swift embrace—an embrace I realized I couldn't feel—and shot me a sad, almost regretful smile. The look made my chest tighten painfully, like someone was squeezing the air out of my lungs. Then she began to glide away slowly, farther and farther away from me.

"Wait!" I shouted desperately, reaching out a hand only to meet empty space. "What did you--" But I stopped talking. As soon as I blinked, she was gone.

I slammed my fist into the wall beside me, furious that I'd let her get away. Escape my grasp. Slip from me... again.

The tears came next; fast, heavy, warm, salty. I hung my head low, the liquid dripping off the edge of my nose. I wiped the tears away with the back of my head angrily, sniffling softly. I hated this weakness. Hated, hated it.

I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes, exhaling slowly, drying the nearly nonexistent sobs that racked my body not even a minute ago.

"_I'll see you soon, taichou."_ That's what she said. I wondered what she meant by that. I sighed again. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. I think I'm getting old.

Once upon a frozen blossom I fell in love.

And once upon a frozen blossom my heart was broken.

Scowling, I took my thumb and index finger and massaged my temple. I'd have to start drinking some lighter sake. The alcohol was making me too damn sentimental.

_**Fin.**_


End file.
